A Story

(Note: This story actually happened last week, but I have spent time editing this post)

I did something today I've never done before. I needed to get gas yesterday morning, but I didn't . After a trip out to Powderly, I really needed to get gas by yesterday evening. I went walking at lunch Friday, and didn't have enough time left to get gas. So today after I got off work, I REALLY, REALLY needed to get gas. I pulled into a gas station on Clarksville St (while talking to Dee, as it happens), ready to give up my hard-earned $$$$ for gasoline. I pumped my gas, then went inside to pay. The line was pretty dang long in front of the register. A woman was trying to find some way to pay - she had pumpher her gas, then didn't have any cash. She tried to use her credit cards (I pieced this together while waiting in line, listening to the conversation between the distraught woman and the cashier) but none of them were accepted. She was almost crying, and desperate to find a way to pay. The cashier asked her to step out of line so he could help the other customers (me included). As I inched closer to the register, I kept watching the woman (while trying to not be noticed). She was tearful, but not overly so - embarrassed, to say the least. I got the impression she didn't have much money anyway, just from her manner of dress and other things. I didn't know that for a fact, mind you, this was just an impression.

Anyway, as I got closer to paying, something began tugging at the back of my mind. Something told me to pay for the woman. I ignored it at first. But this small voice kept speaking. And when I got to the cashier to pay, I told him to also put the woman's charges with mine - I'd cover for her. He looked at me like I was crazy. I kinda felt like I was! I asked him to just let me pay for what the woman owed, and not say anything to her until I was gone.I'm not blogging this to toot my own horn - gee, look how generous and Christian I am!! If anything, I am the least generous, least compassionate person I know.

My point in writing about this is...well, I'll be honest: I've been through a spiritual dry period lately, over the past year or so. I didn't feel close to God, or even really like a Christian, for that matter. As I began going to the Sunday night service at Oak Park, however, my worship there began to infuse me with the Spirit again - I even began to crack open my Bible every now and then.

Then my dog, Snickers, became sick. I know, I know, she was a dog, not a person, but she is the closest thing I have ever had to a child, I guess that's how I thought of her. She'd been ill for awhile, and I had been treating her for arthitis with Previcox for some time, but after Christmas, Snickers began failing. Slowly at first, but by the beginning of March, the decline was obvious and the conclusion inevitable. I have to confess - in the two weeks leading up to her death (March 17, 2008) I would alternate between cursing (and I mean cursing) God for allowing her sicken, and praying desperately for her to be healed and asking forgiveness for what I said about God. Eventually, the day came when I knew that I had to put her to sleep, to keep Snickers from suffering anymore. So on Monday, March 17th (St. Patrick's Day), I took her to my vet and put her to sleep. Immediately afterwards, I just drove around, kinda in shock. I got on the Indian Nation Turnpike for some reason, and drove all the way to the end in Henrietta, OK.

Somewhere along the way, I just bared my soul to God and asked Him one thing - I wanted to know if He had taken Snickers to be with Him, and would I ever see her again? Or would she just disappear, since the Bible is pretty much silent on pets, beloved or not, going to Heaven. As I begged Him for an answer, something popped in my mind: Hosea 13. I can't recall reading Hosea very much, certainly not to where I can quote you anything from it. So it seemed like a very odd thing to come to mind.Anyway, I was still driving, and I got my Bible out (I keep it in my car so I always have it with me) and began flipping to Hosea 13. I was reading (again, while driving) and the majority of the chapter deals with God's judgment on Israel for it's sins. Not exactly anything I was looking for.And then I caught it - at the end of the chapter, and it hit me like a rock.

I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death. Where, O death, are your plagues? Where, O grave, is your destruction? (NIV, Hosea 13:14)

I think God chose this chapter to give to me because the entire chapter deals with judgment, except for this coda near the end. It seemed very specific - I took it to mean that, yes, God has redeemed Snickers from death, from the power of the grave, and that she is with Him right now, even as I type this.So what's the point of all this? I was so thankful to the Lord - He gave me an immediate and powerful (if that's the word) sense of peace that day. And even though I was still sad, God used this time to bring about a change in my heart towards Him - a desire to become a deeper Christian, to be more faithful to Him, to dig into his word faithfully - and most importantly, to be a DOER of His word, not just a hearer. It makes me think of the scripture from Romans:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose
(Romans 8:28, KJV)

God works all things for the good. Even when the circumstances are bad, God can and will bring good out of them. One of those good things, for me, was a hunger for a deeper relationship with God. He is leading me to step out in faith, to do things i have never done before - nor would ever even have considered doing! Next Sunday, I am going to give the message Sunday night. Public speaking terrifies me, yet I feel like God is leading me to do this. I plan to talk about Communion, about how Jesus' sacrifice leads us to be living sacrifices (Romans 12) daily. Part of being a living sacrifice means denying my will (my will is that I don't have to speak, lol) and instead conforming to God's will (that I WOULD speak next Sunday).

Anyway, I just felt like writing all this for some reason - sharing our stories is a great way to communicate Biblical truths - not that I am comparing my writing here with Scripture in any way!

-B.J.